Here's another doozie for y'all. Every time I think about it I wonder how more crazy the world can get. We laugh about it all the time in the staff room because we would all cry otherwise.
So, Sherine was a bright girl. A whole lot misguided and badly parented but there was more than a little potential there. She was always late for school. Always untidy in a 'sketel' type of way. She was loud and vulgar, sometimes. If bleaching was popular when she was in Grade nine she would have been one of the students we would have sent home until 'shi get back har rite colour'.
But was she ever fun? Whoohooo!!!! Sherine was a riot. Neva see pickney love dance so. She was the biggest sensation in the dance room on fair day. Carlene and Jungko (hope is so har name spell) had nothing on her. One Thursday morning I made the mistake of driving on Spanish Town Road on my way to school. It was only about 7am so Weddy Weddy was still in full swing. I had to drive through slowly because the revelers were in the road and one couple was draped over the hood of my car doing the Dutty Wine or something. I was, of course, enjoying the show and being careful (didn't want to be victim to mass hysteria).
I looked over to my right where some sound boxes were pounding and who did I see gyrating on her head? In her school uniform!!! Sherine. Mi almost have heart failure. So me, Ms Big and Brave stamp di brake, fly out mi car and hollar fi di likkle, mad gayal. She looked up, smiled and waved at me. I opened my back door and ordered her into the car. She looked at her pink, plastic watch and had the nerve to tell me it was only 7 'o' clock. I planted my foot and repeated calmly that she get into the car. She was about to refuse again when her MOTHER looked up from behind a sound box and pushed her toward the car. She came across the road and sat down, mout long from here to London. Her mother and the other party goers drop down laughing and resumed the dance as I drove off.
Sherine had a mouth on her!!! She let me know on the way to school, as I cussed about her conduct on the street in her uniform, that I was an ole maid and was over reacting to a simple likke dance.
And the things that fell out of her mouth were unbelievable. If you looked up the saying "mi mout nuh jine chuch', you will see her picture and a whole string of 'badwud'. Once, she was missing from school for a couple weeks. Her mother couldn't find her. They checked her friends, her family. The police came by. All the adults were worried. Note: THE ADULTS were worried. The children, not so much. Everybody claimed to have seen her in different places in Kingston. She turned up at school one morning about 9am looking quite refreshed and as can be guessed at, stopped the whole shebang. Now, I wasn't in the class that day (so this purely hearsay) but I should have been because the poor, gentle-hearted lady there almost died. She stumbled down the stairs and into the staff room. We had to give the lady water and revive her (took a while too).
Sherine stepped into that classroom and everything stopped. Everybody wanted to know about her adventures. The conversation went like this:
" Which paat you did deh?"
"None a yuh buzniz."
"She did deh a Waterhouse."
"Watahouse? A Tivoli you live weh you a do a Watahouse?"
" Mi go fuck."
"Me see har a Haugust Town whe you did a do deh?"
"Mi go fuck."
"And when mi si you dung a Sout whe you did go do?"
" Mi go fuck."
"Den a so you jus walk up and dung town a fuckfuck so?"
"Yes. Pussy mek fi fuck it no mek fi wear bubbles and clips."
Sherine sat down. The class, their curiosity satisfied, turned back to the nice teacher to continue the lesson.
So ladies, now you know why you have a pussy.
So, Sherine was a bright girl. A whole lot misguided and badly parented but there was more than a little potential there. She was always late for school. Always untidy in a 'sketel' type of way. She was loud and vulgar, sometimes. If bleaching was popular when she was in Grade nine she would have been one of the students we would have sent home until 'shi get back har rite colour'.
But was she ever fun? Whoohooo!!!! Sherine was a riot. Neva see pickney love dance so. She was the biggest sensation in the dance room on fair day. Carlene and Jungko (hope is so har name spell) had nothing on her. One Thursday morning I made the mistake of driving on Spanish Town Road on my way to school. It was only about 7am so Weddy Weddy was still in full swing. I had to drive through slowly because the revelers were in the road and one couple was draped over the hood of my car doing the Dutty Wine or something. I was, of course, enjoying the show and being careful (didn't want to be victim to mass hysteria).
I looked over to my right where some sound boxes were pounding and who did I see gyrating on her head? In her school uniform!!! Sherine. Mi almost have heart failure. So me, Ms Big and Brave stamp di brake, fly out mi car and hollar fi di likkle, mad gayal. She looked up, smiled and waved at me. I opened my back door and ordered her into the car. She looked at her pink, plastic watch and had the nerve to tell me it was only 7 'o' clock. I planted my foot and repeated calmly that she get into the car. She was about to refuse again when her MOTHER looked up from behind a sound box and pushed her toward the car. She came across the road and sat down, mout long from here to London. Her mother and the other party goers drop down laughing and resumed the dance as I drove off.
Sherine had a mouth on her!!! She let me know on the way to school, as I cussed about her conduct on the street in her uniform, that I was an ole maid and was over reacting to a simple likke dance.
And the things that fell out of her mouth were unbelievable. If you looked up the saying "mi mout nuh jine chuch', you will see her picture and a whole string of 'badwud'. Once, she was missing from school for a couple weeks. Her mother couldn't find her. They checked her friends, her family. The police came by. All the adults were worried. Note: THE ADULTS were worried. The children, not so much. Everybody claimed to have seen her in different places in Kingston. She turned up at school one morning about 9am looking quite refreshed and as can be guessed at, stopped the whole shebang. Now, I wasn't in the class that day (so this purely hearsay) but I should have been because the poor, gentle-hearted lady there almost died. She stumbled down the stairs and into the staff room. We had to give the lady water and revive her (took a while too).
Sherine stepped into that classroom and everything stopped. Everybody wanted to know about her adventures. The conversation went like this:
" Which paat you did deh?"
"None a yuh buzniz."
"She did deh a Waterhouse."
"Watahouse? A Tivoli you live weh you a do a Watahouse?"
" Mi go fuck."
"Me see har a Haugust Town whe you did a do deh?"
"Mi go fuck."
"And when mi si you dung a Sout whe you did go do?"
" Mi go fuck."
"Den a so you jus walk up and dung town a fuckfuck so?"
"Yes. Pussy mek fi fuck it no mek fi wear bubbles and clips."
Sherine sat down. The class, their curiosity satisfied, turned back to the nice teacher to continue the lesson.
So ladies, now you know why you have a pussy.